Ever since Sunday the word honour has been on everyone's lips. The trouble is the good word is leaving a bad taste. A Kingston jury returned its verdict on the weekend and found a father and mother and their son, all Montrealers of middle-eastern origin, guilty of the unthinkable - killing their own kin for dishonouring the family name. Three teenage girls and their step-mother were killed for what would seem to most of us to be pretty normal rebellious adolescent behaviour, but it was all done in the name of honour.
The tension in the tone of the conversations has been heightened by an interview which appeared in the Montreal media over the weekend in which relatives of the convicted speaking from back home in the Middle-East condoned such behaviour in order to honour the family name. It is an unthinkable use of the word honour.
The word has been leaving such a bad taste that I am almost afraid we may lose the word - a good word - and that it will come to be used only to describe such heinous crimes.
The strange thing is that while all of this was playing out in a Kingston courtroom over the last month several of us were witness to the true meaning of honour quietly being upheld day after day in a Toronto hospital room where two daughters took turns waiting and watching alongside their dying mother. Mother was barely conscious and they knew the end was near but when it lingered their love wavered not.
Several times on my visits I made the mistake of commending the daughters for their faithfulness which didn't suddenly appear when mother was taken to the hospital, but they would hear none of it. "Anyone who had a mother like ours would do the same and more," they would quickly counter. The trouble is you couldn't do much more.
These two daughters have been at it for years for both their mother and their father who died almost two years ago. We saw it month after month when one of them would be alongside their father at the meeting of our Deacons. Their late father was a Life Deacon and the two daughters took turns serving terms on the board just to get their father there and back. Along the way the two became excellent Deacons in their own right which was hardly a surprise to their father or anyone else.
It was the high sense of honour displayed by these two women that enabled their mother and father to remain in their home as long as they did and that same honour ensured that when the time came for their mom and dad to move, they would not suffer for a lack of care or love. These two daughters were the source of all the love any parent could hope for.
A week ago, when I stood in the pulpit at Yorkminster Park to conduct their mother's funeral, the girls had no choice but to sit and listen quietly as I sought to honour their love and care. There would be no stopping me to qualify their gift of service by commending their parents. What's more, this time I quoted directly from the Ten Commandments. "Honour your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land."
Ironically, someone being interviewed on a television network yesterday tried to argue it was this same commandment that drove the convicted Kingston felons to kill their three daughters. I don't buy it for a minute because the very next commandment is "Thou shalt not murder!" Don't go blaming the Ten Commandments or before you know we won't have a leg to stand on in this world.
As for me, I don't need to look any further than Margaret and Ellen Branscombe to know the meaning of honour. May their lives be long in the land!
Peace,



